I’ve been running across many people lately who seem to be afraid of failure. Maybe they fear how they’ll look trying something and coming up short, or maybe it’s the fear of uncertainty. We seem to live in a world where everyone appears to have it all figured out, and if you don’t, you’re somehow broken or lost. The idea of stepping into uncharted territory or straying off the beaten path is becoming unthinkable. But with the fear of failure comes the inability to take risks and without risk, reward is fleeting.
Recently, I met with a student who wants to work on Wall Street. This young man is more than capable of not only succeeding on Wall Street but excelling. I have no doubt he will outwork, out-hustle, and outsmart most, if not all, of his peers. His success is imminent. Unfortunately, at this moment, applying for Wall Street opportunities while living in Kentucky is difficult, to say the least.
Rather than giving him pointers on networking or his résumé, I asked when he planned on heading to New York. The question caught him off guard. “I don’t have a job yet,” he replied. To which I said, “So what?”
Believe it or not, the idea of being hired from afar via the internet and Zoom is a relatively new phenomenon. While it may have happened for a select few when I was coming up, the more common scenario was for someone to pick up and move to a city, crash with a friend, take any job available, and market themselves for a better opportunity. This was commonplace, not just for actors in Hollywood or musicians in Nashville.
I asked this young man if he knew people in New York. He said yes. I asked if he could rent a room or sleep on a couch. Again, yes. I know for a fact he doesn’t view himself as “above” working a part-time job in a restaurant, bar, or even a fast-food establishment to help with expenses. So I finally asked, “What are you waiting for?”
In that moment, the enthusiasm and energy were high enough that he seemed ready to hop on a plane, bag in hand, and start his new life in New York. But I’m guessing that after lunch, back in his dorm room, the feeling faded and fear came flooding back.
My prayer for this young man is not that he finds a position in New York that makes the move possible, but that he ventures into the unknown regardless of the uncertainties, job or no job, overcoming his fear and pushing forward.
When I was in college, I failed and failed miserably. We started a tech company with wild dreams and aspirations. We raised money and hired employees. In just a few years, we went from idea to vibrant business, eyeing an IPO. But once the calendar turned to 2000, it took only a matter of months before we were out of money, laid off all employees, and shut the doors forever. A kind apartment complex manager let me out of my lease while I sold a large printer on eBay to scrape together enough money to drive back home to New York.
It was a spectacular failure and one I’ll never forget. While humiliating at the time, I realized quickly that the low I experienced was manageable and temporary. It took several years, but over time I dug myself out of that hole and thrived again. I had stared into the abyss of failure and it wasn’t that big of a deal. In hindsight, I can’t imagine what would have happened had I never tried that business. Would I have pursued anything worth doing? I’m genuinely not sure.
One of the detriments of today’s social media environment is not only the sense that our lives are meaningless as we watch others showcase their amazing daily routines, but also a byproduct: the fear of taking any chance whatsoever, lest we fail publicly and embarrassingly. I feel so many young people today will never take real risks because they’ve already concocted in their minds what people will think should they fail before they even begin. Newsflash: no one cares.
Taking risks or confronting fear does not mean being reckless or unprepared. It may simply mean being uncomfortable for a while or heaven forbid, unconventional.
I told this young man the same thing I’d tell anyone in his situation. The steps are pretty clear:
- Save as much money as you can now and set a date for moving to New York.
- Connect with every contact you have in the city to secure short-term housing a rented room or a pullout couch. (If you don’t think someone is interested in having you help with rent, you’re crazy!)
- After arriving, canvas the area for part-time work, preferably something in the evenings such as a restaurant or bar. (You’ll need your days free.)
- Connect with placement or temp agencies and pursue temporary employment in your desired field. If you want to work in finance, take anything in the financial arena.
- Reach out to all friends and acquaintances in the city and let them know you’re there. Ask them to keep an eye out for opportunities at their employers.
- Apply directly to every opportunity that comes up, making it clear you already live in New York, eliminating relocation concerns.
- Give yourself six months before re-evaluating. If after six months you’ve made no headway, this is your time to reassess whether this is truly a path you want to keep pursuing. My guess is things will happen sooner than you think. But if they don’t, you may have to head back home and start again.
Fear is often overcome when you evaluate the worst possible scenario. If you can embrace that scenario, which rarely ever happens and realize you can live through it and bounce back, fear loses its grip. In the example above, suppose this young man spends a year chasing his dream and it doesn’t work out. Will this ruin his life forever? On the contrary! My guess is it will make him more resilient, and once it’s over, even if he doesn’t yet have his dream job, he’ll never regret the steps he took.
While it may not be a move or a job, odds are you’re wrestling with something. Don’t let fear keep you from venturing into the unknown. Take the step, make the call, start the project, have the conversation, do the thing you’ve been putting off. Progress rarely begins with confidence; it begins with courage.
What are you waiting for?